To fill you in on our MBTI personality types series, it all started with my introduction to MBTI personality types, followed by my rundown of self-care needs tailored to each MBTI personality type. Finally, we had a look at corresponding career paths for each MBTI personality type.
All caught up? Great!
Today, the MBTI personality topic is relationships.
How does your MBTI personality type affect what you need in a romantic relationship?
Ready? Okay, let’s dive in!
Romantic Relationship Traits for Each MBTI Personality Type
ESFJ: Passion Companion
As both social and driven individuals – ESFJs throw a great deal of passion into their relationships. Whether it’s among their friendships or in a more romantic setting, there is no low-volume option for the ESFJ. Everything is loud and exciting – and in this case, someone similar is best! After all, you need someone to keep up with your big ambitions and ideas who won’t leave you feeling bored or frustrated. You could get on well with an ESFP who is just as passionate as you – but a little more easy-going to make sure you don’t drive yourself to the ground!
ENFJ: Someone to care for
The MBTI personality type ENFJs often feel it’s their purpose to help others. And this also goes for their relationships. Naturally nurturing, ENFJs make great partners, as they have a lot of love to give. As long as they don’t get taken advantage of, most other types can’t result in the charms of an ENFJ. You could make an ENTP or an INTJ very happy – as the former struggles with self-discipline and the latter with opening up to others. Come on – you already know how to handle these types, and get a kick out of being the nurturer, I know you do! So find someone who needs that and you can both make each other very happy.
ISTJ: Someone to learn with
ISTJs tend to obsess over niche things – whether it’s an obscure hobby or an unquenchable reading habit – they never stop absorbing information and learning. As such, although it’s perhaps best not to have two of these intense types together, someone with a similar curiosity and love of learning new things would be ideal for an ISTJ, to ensure that they don’t feel that this “nerdy” side of them goes undervalued. An INFJ, ISFP, or an INFP, for example, could be a great match, as they also like to “nerd” it out, but would bring an element of creativity and sparkle to the relationship that could be just what you need.
ISFJ: Someone to settle down with
ISFJs are big family people. Care to admit it or not, your unshakeable mix of logic thinking and intense emotional connections not only makes you an unassuming romantic, but makes you feel the need to have everything mapped out. That’s why ISFJ’s don’t tend to fare well with “casual relationships” and have an all-or-nothing approach to their romantic endeavors. An INFJ may be a good match to you, to align with your emotional intensity, fierce loyalty, and love of order, and yet bringing an element of creativity to loosen you up a little. Alternatively, if two introverts sounds like too much, an ENFJ could also be a great life partner for the ISFJ, as they also tend to romanticise the happily-ever-after ideal.
As an ESTJ you are both confident and extremely self-disciplined. This is a great asset to your career, just as it can get you attention romantically. However, your strong personality can sometimes come across as intimidating, and you can often come across as “too much” in the early stages of a relationship. Don’t worry, ESTJ – you just need someone to loosen you up a bit! When paired with an introvert, you may just drive each other crazy… However, an ENTP or ESFP could be the perfect balance between having a similarly loud personality, yet with a slightly more easy-going nature and a softer touch.
ESFP: Someone to have fun with
The ESFP’s combination of being extroverted and an emotional thinker makes them naturally vivacious and charismatic. They tend to seek, above everything else, someone they can have fun with. And this shouldn’t be ridiculed as a priority dating quality! The ability to laugh and see the fun side of life is a big part of the ESFP’s vibe, and they should have a partner who aligns with that. Since you are naturally on the scatty side and can be described as being a little “all over the place” – a fellow extrovert yet with a little more self-discipline would be a great match. For instance, an ESTJ or an ENFJ.
ISFP: Someone who energises you
ISFPs, although introverted, are natural people-pleasers. Combine this with their combination of sensory and feeling traits, and it results in someone highly-attuned to their surroundings, naturally gifted in the sciences as well as with their emotions – often making them great listeners and friends. When it comes to romantic relationships, you may feel easily overwhelmed, since you are highly sensitive in many ways. As such, the key is finding someone who energises you, rather than drains you. A fellow introvert may be the best bet – such as an INFJ who could also offer this element of the structure that you somewhat lack – but you may also get along great with an extrovert, given they are also on the more gentle side such as an ENFJ or an ENFP.
INTP: Someone to listen to you
As an INTP, you have perhaps always been known as the nerdy type. You simply enjoy your time spent alone, pouring over new information, or quiet time in contemplation. As such, you need a partner who can understand this quieter side to you, and yet someone who can also bring you out of your shell when necessary for your wellbeing. Above all, you need someone who is truly there for you, who truly listens to your every idea and dream – no matter how crazy it may seem to some! Good examples of types that typically fit these requirements would by the fellow dreamers INFJ, INFP, and ENFJ.
ESTP: Someone who can keep up with you
The MBTI personality type ESTPs feel their best when on the move! Often with a lot of pent up energy and naturally sporty people, the partner of any ESTP has to be ready for constant action. Someone who will travel the world with you, try out new sports, or go running with you. Obviously, this can depend on more than personality alone! But typical matches are the ENFJ and the ENFP, as they bring this element of intuition into the relationship that the ESTP can lack.
ISTP: Someone to Challenge you
ISTPs naturally thrive when sharpening their spatial and mechanical skills. Just as they love to discover how things work, and to fix things, they also need this element of a challenge in their relationship. Someone to encourage them to try new things, and to expand their knowledge. As such, the ESTP could be a great option due to their get-up-and-go nature that will keep you on your toes and stop your easily-wandering mind from getting bored. Another option could be the INFJ, to keep you stimulated yet in the more intellectual sense.
ENFP: Someone to calm you down
ENFPs are the definition of people-people. So much so, that they crave to be around others all the time. Their highly social and personable nature often makes them natural performers or comedians, but their heavy dependence on others also makes them prone to anxiety or obsessing over people and things. As such, ENFPs fare better with someone more different to them – to calm them down, ground them, and keep them in check. You could hit it off nicely with a nice ISFJ or INFJ, who share your intense emotions, and yet process them in a more self-disciplined and independent way so they will be able to truly understand you and yet not fan the flames.
ENTP: Someone to give you direction
ENTPs are often known as the “weird one.” (But you love that, really!) A curious mix of ambition and idleness, of intense creativity, and being a black-and-white thinker, the ENTP often even confuses themself. Since the ENTP struggles with self-discipline, they tend to do well with someone who is naturally more structured and who plans things. An INFJ could be a good option, given that they share this “quirky” and somewhat complex nature, and yet would bring an element of self-discipline and order to the relationship to keep you in check. Another option could be the ENFJ – who, due to their love of caring for others, would be perfectly suited for looking after your childish soul… (Come on, you know that’s what you need.)
ENTJ: Someone to follow you
As a personality type known for their confidence, independence, and vivacity, ENTJs tend to go for someone a little more submissive, who’s more than happy to follow you in your outrageous endeavors, and enjoy the crazy ride with you. Of course, you also need someone who can keep your rashness in check, to stop you from going completely overboard! You could be a good match for an ENTP or an ESTP – who are also crazy for adventure, but are naturally more easy-going and spontaneous side, and would likely be more than happy to follow your (very determined) lead.
INTJ: someone to give you space
As an INTJ MBTI personality type, you are a naturally intellectual and highly driven person who does whatever it takes when it comes to your career. However, many INTJs struggle in the romance department, as they are naturally more closed people and find it difficult to confess their feelings. They can also be known to come off as rather aloof and standoffish which doesn’t help their cause! Especially as their intuitive perception means they are actually very good at reading people – it’s just the conversation part that gets hard! As such, an INTJ needs someone who respects their need for space and privacy, who doesn’t try to change them. You may be the perfect match for an INFP – who also needs their own space, but much more easy-going and naturally romantic in nature, which should help you feel able to show your softer side and be more yourself.
INFP: Someone who appreciates you
INFPs are highly sensitive and self-reflective individuals who feel most themselves not only when they are alone and pursuing their creative passions. As such, they crave someone they can shower in love and affection – yet are so naturally reserved that they struggle with the actual starting a relationship part… All the INFP really wants is someone to truly know, love, and appreciate them. Someone who they can spend quiet time with and enjoy the most mundane of things together. That’s why an ISFJ or an INTJ would be a great match – as they are not only more than willing to take part in this joint quiet time, but their natural neurotic tendencies combined with your own go-with-the-flow Luna Lovegood-style INPF nature, will mean the two on you will perfectly balance each other out!
INFJ: Someone to lift you up
As an MBTI personality type INFJs are known to be walking contradictions. Both wildly creative, and lovers of structure. Both deeply interested and seeking connection with others, and in need of a lot of time spent alone in self-reflection. Their romance style is no exception, as they are both deeply romantic people, who crave genuine connection above all else in life, but can also be naturally cold, and quickly shut people out once things turn south. With a tendency to ruminate and obsess over the what if’s and why’s in their life, the INFJ needs, above all else, someone with a more sunny disposition to lift them out of their more dark places. Perhaps the most suitable match would be a nice loyal ISFJ, a compassionate ENFJ, or an ENTP to keep things interesting…
The Bottom Line
Whatever your MBTI personality type – there’s someone out there for you!
I don’t suggest you rule out (or immediately propose to) anyone based on their MBTI personality type alone… but this could be a fun way for you to learn a thing or two about any potential suitors from the get-go, and how your relationship dynamic may morph over time…
What’s your MBTI personality type, and do you feel like this was a good summary of what you look for in a romantic relationship? If you are with someone, what are both your types?!
Let us know in the comments!